Good Friday Miracle, Petrichor and Stained Glass
2022-04-16, 2:14 a.m.

Clean rain air is such a treasure I run outside to consume it. I walk far enough that there is no one else but me for at least a mile all around and I gulp the air like it is the very last frozen ginger soda. Petrichor and stained glass are my comforts these days. I stared at the wall behind me today as I waited for the medicine to be ready in the pharmacy. The emptiness and noticing, I filled up my space. Then I would fall into the mesmerizing space of my phone to distract from the pain and the shock of not having medications. I would pull myself out and be comforted by the perfect calming cream and the freshly dusted moldings. If I were staying somewhere long term I'd have taken more time to create some faux stained glass around the closet, different shades of blue cellophane. And I'd change my black out curtains to look less like a black hole. I lived for many years without awareness of the environment, merely reacting and stressing about work. But now I have had the chance to expand within my space and mindfully give away my best designer clothing and appliances to the community I have hidden away in so I leave a better part of me before I embark.

Part of my soul and life was poured into this endeavor, but it isn't lost. I'm merely learning how to revisit happiness and reintegrate into society. I wonder what my celestial twin would say about these situations. Sometimes I want to contact an intuitive but I don't trust that anyone can tell me something very groundbreaking after an hour or so of pondering.

Today I realized that my favorite numbers are centered triangle numbers. such as the numbers 11 and 31. and the early numbers in the series come before the apocalypse in the bible.

Even though I was so mad at B being rude to me that I told him to not call me for a while, I know that when I was abandoned and heat exhausted he came all the way from Brooklyn to rescue me. I was so focused on meeting this friend who actually didn't care that I was lost, I forgot that I had someone more local, who would get on a train even while enduring intestinal discomfort just so I would be ok

Maybe my celestial angel would say, one step at a time. This situation means that the manifestation would be even greater. And God and the angels are bigger than the cruelty of academia. I implored the doctor's assistant to correct his mistake so that I wouldn't endure these holy days in an extended state of sickness and he obliged. I entreated the Clubhouse prayers and they chased away the evil inclinations. My Good Friday Miracle.