Galaxy of the Lost.
2009-11-27, 11:27 p.m.

My Holiday

Dreamless sleep is not quite complete. Thanksgiving food poisoning.
Sick and thin.
Hip bones, everyone saying how thin I am.
starving scholar.
I get drunk and carry heavy babies down the hall.
I watch the desperation of alcholics, mothers and slackers coming together over food that my wonderful grandma has cooked
I throw up and I feel better

My mom and my grandfather bought me a flatscreen tv. I feel really bad about it. I think I don't deserve it. I want to work and buy these things for myself. I don't want anyone to buy them for me. That's the way my parents raised me.

The tv is a Sony Bravia...I kept remembering the commercial with the Jose Gonzalez cover of "Heartbeats" and all the colorful balls boucing down the street. I really love that song.

I missed work this week because I was working on a paper. I hated the paper at first because I thought it was awful but now that it's my job to read someone else's paper, I realize that my paper was actually kind of good.

I'm still debating on whether I should call the Libra. He demanded that I call him in two weeks and the time has come. But I think he knows that he can't control me anymore. Seven years is a long time to hope to control someone. I'm with the Taurus now. Even though we aren't a good match I still think it's for the best not go back to that time. But in my head I go back sometimes at night when I lay beside his alabaster skin. I bury my face between his shoulder blades to erase these late night thoughts. Everyone thinks that I should call the libra, just to see what he wants, but he couldn't explain why on the phone, he was just as arrogant as he was seven years ago. He just said he was drawn to me... That really could mean anything.

I'm trying to do work when I'm drunk but of course I'm not being productive. I'm reading every other sentence and following a stream of thoughts through google searches. I'm so tired of typing and being on the computer.