It Aint Hard to Tell, The World is Mine, Mantra is The Message
2024-01-14, 11:44 a.m.

I'm thankful for silent moments, empty of activity, sea of blue bedsheets. Sometimes in calm grey sky silence I come back to myself. B said the mantra is the message. My comfort songs, Nas, "It Ain't Hard to Tell" Large Professor Remix & "The World is Yours." He thought I should tattoo the titles on my body but it doesn't have to be that literal. I once memorized the 46th psalm so I could keep keep the words in my heart even if I didn't have access to any bible for a long time.

It Ain't Hard to Tell remix is a mash up of portishead roads and nas, it's actually produced by dangermouse. I used to listen to it as I was walking from Chinatown into the main market area when I first moved away from home. I was coming out of a sad place. When a man lovebombs then floats away to the other woman on his roster, its such a blindside. Esp when he comes back and gets mad you moved on. I really fell hard for that fake persona. And my best friend at the time doing the same. big fucking ick. but the song calmed me and reminded me that narcissists see a sparkle, try to consume it until its gone. I love how calming it is

I'm not even mad at my short exile back to my homeland of the Bronx. I needed to come back into myself. Every time I walked to the block with the botanica and the pillow store, a huge flock of birds would fly like a sheet or a solid wave, and angle up right before reaching me.