i need a christmas miracle.
2009-12-24, 6:56 p.m.

What could be worse than an irrational argument on xmas eve? My idiot bf is arguing with me when I don't have the energy to say piss off.

My grandpa's in the hospital and I don't want to see him like that again. He was confused and angry. He kept repeating things. He fell off a ladder and now he's bleeding in his brain.

It was hard to be there with all my aunts and uncle arguing in their snippy petty ways. It was hard to watch the most ignorant person in family assert themselves as the medical proxy.

I wanted to cry when I saw my grandma's sad little girl face. I used all my neurosci knowledge to make her feel better. Her small eyes were two shiny puddles in her face. I wanted to cry but I didn't because I wanted her to believe what I was telling her. Even now, I'm just letting my eyes get a little watery because I want to believe the things I've studied all semester. Neurosci actually served a purpose in my life. I wish it wasn't such a shitty purpose.