Spacing out
2010-06-21, 11:19 p.m.

So many things to do... I don't want to think. I just want to space out and dream in the garden by the cloisters.

I finally made it to the pier last week. The sky looked the same. It was gorgeous as usual. I didn't mind all the gender ambiguous people in the girls bathroom. It didn't scare me like it did the first time because everyone was very respectful.

My concert partner and my lover won't go with me to the Shy FX show just because I fainted the last time we went to that venue. My reason would have been the narrow staircase, no ventilation and the lack of an emergency exit.

My friends think it is elegant and Victorian to faint, but I'm really glad that it doesn't happen to me anymore. It's scary, especially when I would lose my vision before I fell. I would see in only two colors, red and blue/green and blue/or black and white. Sometimes things started to look like thermal imaging.

I am fatigued. I want to sleep, but I don't want to wake up into another day of things I have to do and haven't finished. I'm listening to the same song but this time I'm looking at the g force visualizer. I am tired of the heat. I hope it rains tonight.