pmdd sadness again.
2010-08-22, 11:50 p.m.

tears are sticky cellphone that suffocate my throat. cotton candy lozenge. i wish that he would show up at my door and apologize. i wish he would even pick up the phone. why am i still with this person? why can't i break away? because i've learned that i'm not that appealing to the opposite sex. i don't even want to think about another relationship now, but even in the distant future it doesn't seem like even a remote possibility.

it's really annoying me that my mom has to tell me i should put myself out there. i don't care anymore. i'd rather be by myself. i don't want to carry this hurt around. i just want to throw it away.