holographic splendor for the last lifetime
2017-04-08, 12:10 a.m.

I'm going to the ER tomorrow because I'm really suffering with this MS flare. It is an isolating and hurtful thing to be here away from everything that comforts me. But somehow I also think the hunger and detachment will expand my soul like the artscroll tashlich passage I love.

I miss rolling up to my block to the million dollar condos that were purposely left mostly empty and rent out escorts. I miss the salon on the basement floor with poorly chosen name. I miss you and misspelled shirts. I'm homesick

My body is being consumed from inside out. I miss the comfort and love that art provided, I really wish I had that if this is it for me. I'm so sick I cant even try that antidote because I'm getting a wave of my legs burning.

Waves of loneliness mixed in with mortality, body being eaten and my gills breathed as my face entered water.

I have seen the complexity of god and the deepness of his river, like a beautiful cathedral at night. I have felt his present rush through me with holographic splendor. I keep leaving this astral plane like this is the last lifetime. I just need to keep floating away.