hurtling through an astral realm, catching my celestial muses
2021-02-14, 6:05 p.m.

Having an extra pair of glasses is a godsend. I must've said "how can i find my glasses without my glasses" about 500 times. Last time my glasses went through a wormhole, or taken by our apartment spirit, i decided to get 2 pairs, one covered by my insurance, one i bought from amazon. this is the greatest idea. i just wish i had glare reduce coatings but its great.

Do people get dressed for zoom/online working? i do. it helps me feel pulled together. when i worked after travelling, i didn't bother covering my dark circles and my student cut our meeting short because he said i looked out of it. i didn't bother to tell him that this is my baseline, i just usually have concealment methods and better lighting. My mother said I could stay with her through the storm but i told her the kitchen florescent light triggers some kind of brain ache. I like warm lights and i have a lamp that is a little like a ring light. i need my set up for class.

Last evening I put matte coral lipstick on and only lined my bottom lash line. i felt more put together and like i could avoid this comment of looking exhausted. one day i'll tell him this is the life of a student and an overachiever. Suffering, lassitude. 3 AM anxiety, reading, not being able to write because of upper body spasticity. needing solfeggio frequencies to catch the wave of sleep. hurtling through an astral realm, catching my celestial muses.

i hope i get my medicine tomorrow so i can control my pain and focus. its taken all day to focus. i've massaged my jaw with agarwood oil and felt my scapula click into place. i know i'll be right as rain once my neck cracks 3 times. i have one more to go. i dangled from my cushiony couch. it gave me a tingle in my fingertips. then those loud chiro cracks reverberating.

i don't want to take amphetamines like the rest of the department. but i am definitely subject to lassitude and have to hand in 60 pages soon. i only have 2 of those. but my anxiety will activate all of this soon. hopefully