pre-apocalyptic triangular numerics & frigid barbiturate sleep
2022-06-13, 12:03 a.m.

needing to take barbiturates to sleep in the frigid temperature of this apartment. orange walls but i'm lacking the tropics. he can't sleep unless his temperature drops below 60 degrees. The bedroom door doesn't close all the way and I'm starting to get cold here, while perched in the inner corner of the grey sectional, toes buried in the cushions of the chaise. i had dal, water, & ginger soda. i told my mother i should just join the hare krishnas to get this hypoallergenic go to meal for free. its not hard to sell the booklets, the full color pictures sell themselves.

anyway. there is something beautiful about every system of society experiencing disruption. even those who have reached self-actualization have to descend back before the final ascent. and even then, the work is never fully completed. it is an ongoing reorganization and identification of new needs and desires.

when i close my eyes in this pre-apocalyptic scenario i see all the triangular number sequences in folding sapphire blue facets re-form in new shapes. a last breath freezes and becomes the catalyst for the newest iteration of life.